In our culture today, there is some confusion between lust, a terrible vice, and love, the ultimate virtue. So what’s the difference, and why should you care?

First of all, I’m not referring to fleeting feelings of lust. Feelings are natural occurrences over which we may have little control. In some instances, when we are exposed to temptation, the first feelings that come over us may be feelings of lust. The lust that I’m concerned with is the lust that comes next — the lust which is an action.

Lust and love are both actions. Lust is all about selfishness, while love is all about selflessness. If we are exposed to something immodest, or we have some brief romantic thought, we have little control over the physical feelings that occur within us. What we do next though, is not beyond our control. What do we say? Where do our eyes go? Do we continue to stare? Do we let our minds linger in fantasy, or do we instead turn our minds toward thoughts of purity? These choices are well within our control.

Why does any of this even matter? For several reasons. Lust is selfish. It involves nothing more that pleasing oneself. Lust leads to other behaviors that are anything but wholesome. Masturbation, pornography, adultery — these are all self-indulgent behaviors rooted in lust — behaviors which may provide short-term pleasure, but which are bound to provide long-term disappointment.

But who is it hurting? Come on. Who does the pornography industry hurt? Everyone involved. Who does adultery hurt? Everyone involved! We are a culture that has become desensitized to lustful behavior — wrongly thinking that we’re not hurting anyone. We live in an era of broken marriages and complicated families — an era of medicated children and school shootings. Self-indulgent behavior such as lust must be at least partly to blame.

The primary reason for us to avoid lust though, is because we Christians are called to live holy and righteous lives, attempting to live more like Christ each day. For this reason alone we must try to avoid lust. We must instead attempt to live in chastity. What? Chastity?

Chastity is not the same thing as celibacy. Chastity applies to clergy and lay people, single and married people. It’s about using the gift of sexuality in a loving and temperate manner. In some cases that may mean abstinence or celibacy. Rather than abusing our gift of sexuality by indulging in lust, we must cherish it and use it appropriately — within the confines of marriage. I know. That’s so old-fashioned. If old-fashioned was good enough for Jesus, then it’s good enough for me.

Avoid lust entirely. It is completely self serving, and completely against the teachings of Christ. It will have long term consequences.